OPENING UP
Jahanara Alam opened up about the mental toll of the 2024 World Cup and why she stepped away from international cricket © Getty
Former Bangladesh captain Jahanara Alam revealed that she experienced a mental breakdown during the 2024 T20 World Cup in the UAE, a period when she felt like an outsider within the team environment. The emotional turmoil, she said, ultimately forced her to take a break from international cricket.
In a candid conversation with Cricbuzz, Jahanara recounted the distressing events that led to her decision, including an incident during the tournament where she alleged a junior cricketer was subjected to mental harassment – something she found unbearable to witness from the sidelines.
“What I have faced (in the World Cup) is something I did not expect,” Jahanara said. “When a player is thrown out of the ground hearing ‘math the bair hoye zabi ekhoni bair hoiya zabi’ (‘get lost from the ground immediately’), and during an international match you are saying ‘leave the ground right away,’ and the small girl got out of the ground weeping, how will you cure the mental abuse that you did to her?” she asked.
“Why is the BCB spending so much on mental health? That little girl was crying after coming out of the ground, and there were several instances like this that happened in front of me. I just couldn’t take it. It’s a different topic what happened with me, but the things happening to others who were helpless… they couldn’t do anything. And you cannot understand it from the outside. At one point, I felt I just couldn’t take it anymore. I was having nightmares.”
She said her anxiety peaked during the World Cup, a time she described as mentally isolating. “I was thinking… where am I, what am I doing here, and what is my future? I wasn’t playing, and I couldn’t make sense of what was happening,” she said. “I was shocked and unable to process anything. I even tried to be more friendly and helpful during the World Cup – going against my reserved nature – just to be part of the group.”
Jahanara revealed that her mental struggles weren’t limited to the World Cup, they had been building up for years. “It wasn’t just about the World Cup. The mental stress had been there for three or four years and only intensified in the last 18 months. After what happened during the tournament, I reached a point of no return,” she said.
Reflecting on her long career, Jahanara spoke of the inner battles she’s faced. “I felt like giving up cricket three times in my career – first in 2009, just a year after my debut, then again in 2020, and once more in 2022. During each of those phases, I truly believed I wouldn’t play cricket again. But interestingly, when I was dropped from the team in 2023, I didn’t feel like quitting at all. Instead, I was determined to make a comeback. I told myself, ‘I have to do this.’ But somewhere along the way, suddenly I felt I couldn’t take it anymore. I needed a break, mentally. I needed a change. I was drained, yet unable to find a clear path forward.
“When I came to Australia, it was only supposed to be a two-week stay. But the way people here treated me, with genuine respect and value, made me want to stay longer. I realised that going back home might only worsen my mental state. I even thought about preparing for the West Indies tour. But after what I went through during the World Cup, I understood that I needed more time to heal.”
Jahanara said when she returned to the national camp before the T20 World Cup, after a gap of 10-11 months, she was shocked to find that the dressing room atmosphere had changed completely and no longer felt like the place she once knew, which she found deeply unsettling. “There was no cricket talk in the dressing room, only fighting. When I returned to the camp, the whole environment had changed. There were physical clashes, no friendship, no respect.”
Now certified with a Level 2 coaching badge from Cricket Australia, Jahanara is considering her next steps. She plans to return to Bangladesh soon and resume domestic cricket, with coaching also on the horizon.
“I am eyeing to play cricket for the next couple of years and alongside, if there is an opportunity for coaching then I will do it. But it’s not like I will stop playing cricket and do coaching,” she said. “Certainly I will return to Bangladesh and play domestic cricket. I was just waiting to complete the coaching course and for the results.”
As for the future? “It’s difficult to say what I will take up as a profession later on, but certainly coaching can be considered as an option. I have recovered 99 percent and the change in atmosphere (spending time in Australia) played a big role in helping me feel better. First of all, I took a leave from the national team – I was not dropped. Now, I have to see what options await me in the national setup,” she concluded.
© Cricbuzz
